because pg 2 9-15-22
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The passing of a 96-year-old woman is not something that I would declare shocking in any way. However, when I heard the news of the passing of Queen Elizabeth II I was unexpectedly deeply moved. I never met The Queen, and I cannot say that I feel I even knew her. Yet, her death represents an end to a human example of the embodiment of a purely dutiful mindset and for that, I am sad.
In considering the definition of dutiful, phrases like obedient fulfillment and motivated by duty rather than desire are abundant. In a world where people too often and too easily cast duty aside for the pursuit of personal wants, The Queen, seemingly, did not. For me, and I suspect for millions of others, The Queen, with her steadfast dutiful manner, was an individual who transcended the monarchy, quietly shaking off the negative and restrictive aspects of a hierarchal stigma. Whether she was a warm and loving mother to her own children is not for me to judge, but I do feel that her behavior as a monarch was entirely like that of a mother (or parent) in that she willingly cast aside her own personal desires for the care and guidance of preserving a deeply rooted structure and identity of a culture. And she didn’t do it for just a little while or for 18 years or 21 years or until she reached retirement age… She did it, and without publicly complaining, whining or blaming, until she died. And for that, I have deep respect.
I welcomed and relished the opportunity to be a mother, but I also remember that I complained quite a bit. Raising a child requires a certain level of accepted selflessness. At least for a little while … Sleep becomes elusive, and the tiredness extends to the furthest part of your body. Perpetual patience is required and flexibility necessitated as what you think you have planned in a day, can change rapidly when children are involved. Can you imagine feeling this way for 70 years? Further, can you imagine feeling this way while those around you are free to not only pursue their own passions but can publicly complain about the restrictive nature of being obligated to an institution? I cannot imagine that it is easy. Of course I recognize that the institution of the monarch comes with a great deal of privilege, but, for The Queen, she did not choose to use that privilege to remove herself from her duty…Even when it became personally difficult.
Perhaps The Queen’s resolute and loyal nature resulted from her experiences during World War II. Or, perhaps, it was her love of the unspoiled beauty and quiet of nature which shaped her dedication. I could watch 100 documentaries about Her, but I will never really know. As a developmental psychologist, I suspect it was a combination of many things which created a public leader who viewed challenges as opportunities to overcome… that is, as long as you relied on pragmatic structure and problem-solving. And she did just that… her “whole life”. LONG! LONG!
Kathy Naumann, possessor of NATURALLY curly hair and the understanding that you can’t control everything!
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