obits pg 6 3-23-23
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Benjamin D. Williams III, U.S. Marine Corps veteran
Ben Williams died March 7, one day shy of his 87th birthday. “I know what’s coming,” he wrote recently, “and I have no regrets. Do I want to leave my family and all that means so much to me? Hell no … but I have had more than my share of the best that life has to offer.” Speaking of the love of his life, who passed away in 2007, “When the lights go out, I’m going to find Nan. We’ve been apart too long.”
Born in 1936, Ben was the oldest of three children who would remain incredibly close throughout their long lives.
Ben, Rod, and Isie were raised by parents who were “the best possible examples of how to build a contributing and meaningful life.” Ben took their lessons to heart. From his father, who was in the brokerage business but was first and foremost a soldier and a veteran of both World Wars, Ben learned the importance of discipline, principle, and commitment. From his mother he gained patience, an agile and inquisitive mind, empathy and compassion. And from both he acquired his love of wild things and wild places.
His children would later note, “To grow up with Ben Williams was to understand that the responsibility of any earnest citizen was to know the name of as many living things on the planet as possible. It was a sign not simply of appreciation for all that exists but an exercise in humility. For to know another living thing’s name, nature, and needs is to appreciate that your own desires and interests are far from paramount.”
Ben lived a life of service to aspirations and intentions, communities and relationships that he believed were greater by far than himself. He learned of such commitments not solely from his parents but from the communities he joined: St. Paul’s School, Princeton University, the United States Marine Corps, Pomfret School, Lawrence Academy, Robert College, The Rivers School, the Wyndham Land Trust and Connecticut Audubon.
Ben was so overcome with homesickness when he arrived at St. Paul’s in Concord, New Hampshire from his home on Long Island that the bewildered teachers sent him to the infirmary. After crying for what seemed like days, Ben heard familiar footsteps approaching. He looked up to see his father standing over his bed. “Son,” Ben’s Dad said earnestly, “am I going to have to take you home?” As Ben reports, “There was only one answer to that question.”
Ben ultimately took to life on campus and its opportunities with the same intrepid spirit that distinguished his time in the outdoors. He became a collector of sorts – not simply of adventures or learning – but of the birds, reptiles, animals, and insects that surrounded and fascinated him. Later on in life, when he became a Head of School, Ben was known to keep a baby raccoon he named Geronimo in an open desk drawer. Students and faculty would stop by on occasion to feed the little fella with a dropper filled with milk.
Ben did his undergraduate work at Princeton in sociology showing even as a student a keen interest in the construction of culture and the manner in which communities build common purpose. He joined the Ivy Club and became a standout oarsman for the Men’s Heavyweight Crew, ultimately rowing for the Department of the Navy after earning his degree in 1957. He competed in the U.S. Olympic trials in 1960, losing with his mates by mere inches to a University of Washington crew that went on to win the gold medal.
As a Marine Corps officer after college, Ben served for a time as a Drill Instructor at Officer Candidate School in Quantico, Virginia. Though he held other posts in the Corps, including serving as a Captain in the Ceremonial Guard Company in Washington D.C. charged with protecting the President, his work with Officer Candidates gave Ben an inkling that education might well be his calling.
In Washington, D.C., on a blind date Ben met Nancy Nielsen, who was working for the CIA. Though Nancy was not entirely sure, at least initially, that this dashing Marine officer was the one, Ben knew immediately. “I was flat out smitten,” he reported. “The greatest moment in my life is the one when she accepted my marriage proposal.”
Ben and Nan married in 1961 and after a brief stint for Ben in the brokerage business they moved to Pomfret School in Pomfret. There they had three children, Ben IV, Fred, and Joe, whose antics showed they were just as intrepid as their father.
Though the family would leave Pomfret School in 1969 so that Ben could become Head at Lawrence Academy in Groton, Mass., Pomfret would remain the center of the family’s orbit. Ben and Nan built a home there on land they purchased in 1965.
As a school head, Ben was unparalleled in his attention to the needs of his community, undaunted by the challenges of his time, and remarkably forward-thinking. Dan Scheibe, the current Head at Lawrence Academy wrote after Ben’s passing, “Ben transformed Lawrence Academy. The programs and activities of the school today are grounded in the care and creativity he invested in the school over his tenure. The school acquired its modern, familiar, supportive character through Ben Williams’s lead, through his sense of purpose and humanity.”
Ben left Lawrence in 1984 but continued to lead schools for another decade, first at Worcester Academy and later as an Interim Head at Rivers School, in Weston, Mass., and Robert College in Istanbul, Turkey.
Moths attracted the lion’s share of Ben’s attention, so much so that he awoke in the wee hours of each morning to check lights he had set up to attract the night-flying insects. Everywhere he went, nationally and internationally, Ben carried his trademark butterfly net and collecting equipment. He was published in the Lepidopterist’s Journal on more than one occasion and was connected to a huge network of entomologists around the country.
Ben remained involved in this work until his death, bequeathing his vast collection to UConn. He also became active in conservation work, joining Connecticut Audubon and Wyndham Land Trust as a volunteer and Board Member after his career in education. He was a founding member of Connecticut Audubon Society’s Northeast regional board and ultimately served as Chair, leading the capital campaign for the Conservation Center in Pomfret. Ben is among the many responsible for the vast trail network and protected lands that distinguish Windham County.
Asked not long before his passing how he would like to be remembered, Ben answered, “I love life and embrace its adventures. The better ones I celebrate, the less so were lessons learned. I hope I qualify as a good friend and someone who may be counted on. I’d like to think that my shortcomings were not excessive and that my mistakes were forgivable. Given the qualities which I have so admired, respected, and valued in the four-legged members of our family over the years, I’d like to be remembered as a good old dog.”
He was the center around which his family revolved, an inspiration to his three sons, all of whom currently lead boarding schools, a vibrant presence in the lives of his nine grandchildren, and the living embodiment of kindness, care, and hope.
A celebration of Ben’s life will be held on Aug. 27 at the Connecticut Audubon Society in Pomfret. Donations may be made in Ben’s memory to the CT Audubon Society in Pomfret at PO Box 11 Pomfret Center, CT 06259; or Wyndham Land Trust PO Box 302 Pomfret Center, CT 06259.
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Priscilla Dautrich
BROOKLYN — Priscilla Arlette (Cournoyer) Dautrich, 82, of, Brooklyn died March 11, 2023, at the Matulaitis Nursing Home in Putnam alter a brief, but difficult, battle with cancer. Over the three months she as at Matulaitis hardly a day went by that she didn’t have family by her side.
She leaves a daughter, Karin LaVine of W.Hartford; a son, Kenneth Gamache (Monica) of Jupiter, Fla.; a daughter Kelly Gamache and partner Karen Festa of Deerfield, N.H., and three grandsons: Wade Gamache (Alyssa), Dylan Gamache and Callan Gamache. She was predeceased by her husband, Peter E. Dautrich and her sister, Barbara Coderre.
She was born on Sept 23, 1940, in Danielson, the daughter of the late Arthur and Bella Cournoyer. She attended school at St James School in Danielson.
She was known by family and friends in the Danielson area as “Arlette” and to so many others as “Pat”. She worked many jobs while balancing being a single mom and raising three kids alone for many years — secretary, legal aide assistant, banquet waitress and small business owner of “Pat’s Party Favors”. However, no single position was more important to her than her job as being a mom and grandmother (“Mama Pat”) to her three grandsons.
She and Pete began their life together in 1980 in Southington. Together they loved traveling to St Maarten and Las Vegas, frequenting auctions and searching for rare collectibles. After Pete’s passing in 2006, Pat moved to Vermont to be close to her daughter Kelly. In 2016, she returned home to her roots, purchased a condo in Brooklyn and shared many enjoyable times with her brother David and sister-in-law Carol and friends she grew up with.
A “Celebration of Life” will be held from 3 to 6 p.m. March 25 at the Black Dog Bar & Grille, Putnam and is open for all to attend. Graveside services will be held at the convenience of the family in Winsted. Donations: Day Kimball Healthcare- Hospice and Palliative Care of Northeastern CT, 320 Pomfret St., Putnam CT 06260. Shaw-Majercik Funeral Home, Webster.
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