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We have all had the pleasure of having routine blood work at one point or another, and, depending upon the nature of the blood work; have had to follow the standard instructions of not eating or drinking anything “after midnight.” For the typical person, eating and drinking after midnight is not usually a habit; therefore, it is not that hard to make sure that dinner is consumed at a normal dinner time, the evening snack is finished prior to the evening news and fluids are drunk well before Cindtrella’s final bong of the clock. But mostly, I guess, I am NOT a typical eater!
The night before my early a.m. scheduled blood work, I happened to be very busy at work. It was a particularly celebratory crowd and, before I realized it, dinner time had slipped away from me. I was, however, not stressed in the least because even though 10 p.m. was approaching, I knew that I could wrap up my dinner to go and enjoy it in the comfort of my own home, on my couch, whilst watching something entertaining. Perhaps I would even pour myself a glass of wine and prop up my aching feet. Unfortunately, my exit from work did not go as efficiently as planned. Despite my best intentions, it was close to 11 p.m. before I left. Not a problem— with a commute of less than 15 minutes and a microwave time that would just surpass my ability to quickly change into my pajamas; I figured that I would still have a solid half hour to enjoy my meal and … my wine.
My homecoming, unfortunately, was met with the discovery that the furnace was not functioning properly. I reset it. Still nothing. I checked the tank—it was just under half….hmmm? I called my husband- he directed me to push this switch and pull out that thingy and drain something and then reconnect this and that and … finally- there was heat. It was now 11:58 p.m. I had a choice to make: I could either inhale my dinner cold and skip the wine OR I could skip the meal and just stay starving, OR, I could, definitely, disobey a medical order?
I began to question the logistics of the situation. Why do “they” say nothing to eat or drink after midnight? Is it because midnight marks the end of the ‘day before the procedure’ and the beginning of the ‘day of the procedure’? Or is it because “they” think that by midnight, you will be in bed and sleeping and so they want to encourage you not to have breakfast if you happen to be an early riser and have breakfast at 5a.m.? Then I started to play doctor in my head and question how empty my stomach is really supposed to be? Like 6 hours empty or 4 hours empty or 12 hours empty? I determined that 12 hours empty was certainly too long because my appointment was at 8 a.m., in which case they would have told me not to eat or drink past 8p.m. I quickly double checked my orders and it clearly stated that midnight was the cut off.
With my stomach growling I rationalized that if medicines were typically administered either every 6 or 12 hours in between doses, then it must be true that, according to the national medical association of Kathy Naumann, my stomach needed to be empty for only 6 hours and so, after putting on my pajamas, I popped my food into the microwave, poured myself a glass of wine, sat on the couch with my coziest (and warmest) blanket and enjoyed, after a very long day, a blissful half an hour of dinner time. And when my blood work results came in…
NORMAL! NORMAL!
Kathy Naumann, possessor of NATURALLY curly hair and the understanding that you can’t control everything!
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