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My knowledge about wine supersedes my desire to be particular about the wine I drink when dining out. In other words, although I know quite a bit about wine, I don’t really care what brand of wine I drink in a restaurant. Due to digestive needs, I prefer a white wine over a red. I do not enjoy a sweet or sparkling wine and if I had to pick my favorite consistently offered varietal, I will always go with a chardonnay. I prefer a heavy, oaky, buttery chardonnay but do not mind if I drink a fruity, flat chardonnay.
Because of this, I rarely need to see a wine list and am content to efficiently order a glass of chardonnay when the server asks. Further, and to reiterate my desire to be efficient and agreeable in a restaurant, when the server asks me for more details about which chardonnay I may want, I respond with the house selection.
I feel that this is the appropriate response for several reasons: Firstly if it is a decent restaurant, I trust in the wine buying selections and that a house wine varietal represents a good and popular quality of wine. Secondly, having been in the restaurant business for nearly all my life, I also understand that retail prices of wine by the glass in a restaurant are (by price per volume) significantly inflated and a house wine should signify that I want the least expensive glass of wine within that varietal. Where I get super annoyed is when the server insists on overcomplicating things by bringing me a wine list. This is even more annoying when I am dining with a friend and just want to order my glass of wine, have the server bring it and begin sipping it whilst enjoying a wonderful conversation. In addition, if the server insists on elongating the ‘order the drink step’ and brings me a multipage wine list, it is going to take longer for not just me, but all of my dining companions, to order (and receive) the drinks. This is an unnecessary delay because when I review the wine list, I am simply going to go the white wines, find the chardonnays and select the chardonnay that has the lowest price. Note to server, when you bring the first drink quicker, there is a stronger likelihood that there will be a second drink ordered!
If I decline the wine list from the server, then I am forced into an awkward discussion about what kind of chardonnay I like. The server asks this to either try and increase the tip I will leave, or the bill I will generate with my order. I like (best) oaky chardonnays which have a buttery finish. These tend to be more expensive chardonnays. Also, as noted, I like, and/or, will happily drink, most chardonnays, which is I why I ordered the house chardonnay to begin with. So the best answer to the server’s question which will bring an end to an unnecessary conversation is ‘the cheapest one’. Note to server, never force a patron to actually say they want the cheapest glass of wine when you already inherently understand that they do. House! House!
Kathy Naumann, possessor of NATURALLY curly hair and the understanding that you can’t control everything!
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