- Details
- Category: Past Issues
By Doc Cody
Golfers in northeastern Connecticut are a rare and unique breed. They complain about winter from November to March but they push the start of the golf season to the extent that they often resemble Eskimos the way they dress on those early days when they hit the links. It seems logical instead they should be home stoking up the logs in the fireplace but the allure of the course supersedes rational thinking.
Recently a good friend, who I might insert, is a highly educated person, dropped by the office following 18 holes on the links. His teeth were chattering and his body was numb. When I questioned him why he was at the office he said, “It’s the closest place I could get to in a hurry to warm up and thaw out.” He confessed that the second nine of his 18-hole polar express excursion seemed to take so long he would have been better off to have entered the Alaskan Iditarod rather than play golf.
Here are some simple and inexpensive thoughts to help satisfy that urge to hit the links before the weather breaks, while allowing the psyche to enjoy the feel of golf. Take the clubs out of the travel bag from your January trip to Florida and perform a thorough house cleaning. This form of therapy has some hidden advantages. To your surprise you may find some money that you forgot you’d stashed away earlier in some secret pocket. A clean golf bag and shiny clubs will certainly put you in a positive frame of mind when you finally get to your first tee of the season.
Inventory your golf shoes. Do you spouse a favor and clean the garage by taking the shoes you won’t be using to the Arc Emporium or the Habitat ReStore. Help the local nonprofits. The pairs that pass your inspection can be re-spiked. Ask your brother-in-law, who may be a poor retired veteran with nothing to do, to clean and put new cleats on the shoes. He needs something to occupy his time. He’ll probably do this for a free round of golf later in the season, because right now doing your shoes is better than sitting home staring at his better half or watching the Golf Channel on the toaster.
By now the weather may be above the 32 degree mark making you feel like you’re almost ready to place a tee in the ground…but then again at the end of last season you weren’t driving the ball so well off the tee. Right?
Maybe you need a new driver? Or are you, the person with the driver in hand the problem? A good friend bought a driver for almost $500. When his wife saw the credit card invoice, she thought he’d bought a new set of clubs. Every year he buys a new driver but complains that $100 for a lesson with the club pro “is too expensive.” He wasn’t a good student in economics when we were in college either.
Then there’s my notorious brother-in-law, he’s a pro shop’s best friend. He purchases every new driver that’s advertised on the market, to cure his exaggerated slice. Last year he bought the adjustable driver that comes with its own Allen wrench. It’s a good thing he has an engineering background because you need to be a mechanic to use that driver. Oh, by the way, what happened to the idea of getting a lesson?
Well by now the weather’s warming and you can go to the course without the winter gloves, parka and scarf and ear muffs. But dress is important.
Invest in the appropriate clothing. At least you can look like a pro even though your handicap indicates otherwise. Don’t wear jeans. Please don’t wear jeans! And if you’re wearing shorts, no lumberjack or mountain climbing shorts. Buy golf shirts that you can tuck in; the type that don’t come out on your very first swing. A comfortable fitting golf shirt looks much better than that form fitting thing from last season that’s fade and shrunk in your closet over the winter. And please, no muscle shirt that is imprinted “Golf is my passion.” Some other tips worth mentioning… You’re at the course to play golf, not to entertain the members of your group with stories of how a truck ran into your house knocking it off its foundation or how your grandchildren can say “papa.” Forget about the scenery and the houses around the course. And please, pretty please don’t talk when others are readying to hit. And don’t keep asking “What am I doing wrong?” after every swing you take, as you watch as your ball sail into the woods or water.
Finally, keep both feet inside the golf cart and get your butt firmly seated in said golf cart. There’s nothing scarier for members of your foursome than to see you flopping on the ground like a wounded whale and writhing in pain because of seating negligence. Remember, even if you aren’t a low handicapper, you can still dress like a pro and act like a pro. Golf is a gentlemen and ladies game. Look like you’ve been in the end zone previous to this round of golf. Happy golfing season.