Because I Had To … Gather.
This word is frequently used during the Holiday season. According to all dictionaries, it is a verb meaning to bring together. Perhaps this word is so popular in November and December because it isn’t JUST a verb, it is a transitive verb. Transitive verbs require a direct object to complete its meaning. In other words, it needs a noun (or pronoun) to receive the action. And during the Holidays, two of the most popular nouns used and heard are… Friends and Family.
As children, we are wired, developmentally, to gather things such as toys and sticks or rocks. As we grow, our gathering behaviors expand to include more personalized objects such as our clothing, school supplies and generalized stuff. By the time we are adults, we lose the inanimate objects and associate the word gather more so with people. “Let’s all gather together and go to the party or the show.” By the time we have families of our own, we consider that the word gather is not only associated with people, but also with food. More specifically, a large meal that is shared not only in its offering but also, and perhaps more importantly, in its preparation. After all, the story of the first Thanksgiving recounts one of the most famous and enduring moments of a gathering for all time. Simply stated, the word gather has come to denote a positive meaning. Most likely because (and to quote Martha Stewart) we, as humans, consider a bringing together of meaningful people to share a meal, a good thing.
This time of year, it is especially important to make time to gather friends and family together. And not just because the federally mandated Holidays tell us it is important, but rather because it is important for us, as individuals, to refill our emotional wellbeing reserves that can empty with the hassle of life. But the hustle and bustle of the Holidays is also significantly associated with stress. Stress from making sure that those you wish to gather with have a meaningful present. Stress from shopping for and preparing food for an unforgettable meal. Stress from cleaning and creating space in your home. Even stress from just trying to find a convenient time and date for all to gather. So, with all this stress, how can we get the maximum benefit from a shared meal with those we gather with around the holidays?
First and foremost, we don’t need to make the meal fancy or complicated. In some cases, even a simple cup of tea and a cookie will do. And we don’t need to have party favors or polished silverware. For that matter, our silverware doesn’t even need to match. Because the people we gather with around the Holidays don’t usually remember how the table was set or how many prongs their salad fork had. Typically, they only remember the happy and warm feelings they leave with. So, ultimately, the more time you can make to engage with and enjoy your friends and family, the more meaningful the gathering will be.
Period. Period.
Kathy Naumann, possessor of NATURALLY curly hair and the understanding that you can’t control everything!
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