Because pg 4 1-9-20

As a parent, marrying off a child is not always easy.  As a mother, marrying off your only daughter is downright hard.   For me, it was not at all hard because I worried about her choice in a spouse; nor was I worried about how they would cope with all of the pressures a married life can come with. What was hard for me was trying to make sure that her day and celebration were everything that she had dreamed, since she was a little girl, it would be.  Of course, you know that there are some dreams your young daughter will have about her wedding that are completely irrelevant when they get older, like marrying a Prince in a castle while wearing glass slippers, but there are others that stick, like marrying a person who makes you FEEL like a beautiful princess in a place that FEELS like a romantic dream while you are wearing a dress that makes you FEEL like the most beautiful version of yourself.  And so, I will reiterate, when you are the Mother of the Bride, helping to plan and execute a day that is everything your daughter wants it to be — it is hard!
Since I happen to be in the wedding planning and execution business, and because my daughter is pretty savvy with organization and lists and everything Etsy, I wasn’t worried at all about all of the details that comprise a wedding celebration.   We had a true “That is the perfect dress” moment, complete with a tear or two.  We had a celebratory shower and invitations free of typos and food tastings and transportation and lodging plans and RSVPs with dinner selections and music and attendant outfits and beautiful flowers and everything else that I didn’t even know went into a wedding detail, covered.
But there was one particular detail that I knew, for me, would be the hardest detail of all … my toast!
First, I stressed about, as a writer, finding the exact perfect words that would convey, in the exact perfect way, the sentiment I was feeling in my heart.  For those of you that know me, and for those that may not, my daughter is everything to me.  We have experienced a lifetime of laughter, joy, hurt, sorrow and love, together, and once I started putting pen to paper, I knew that there were no WRONG words I could use in my toast, but rather, I realized, that actually being able to say the words without breaking into sobs of happy tears was now going to be my biggest challenge.  I thought the solution would be to, rather than make a toast, have the DJ play OUR very special song.  Then I thought about trying to orchestrate when the song would be played and should everyone stand or stay seated and when do we toast, etc., and it started to feel like it was making the moment more of a production and less of a heartfelt toast, which, per my ever-organized daughter’s request, was to be kept to a maximum of two to three minutes.
In the end, and after having to take several long pauses to find my voice through my joyful tears, I was able to get through my toast and wish my beautiful daughter and her handsome new husband a life together of all that they wish it to be…
Cheers! Cheers!
Kathy Naumann, possessor of NATURALLY curly hair and the understanding that you can’t control everything!


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