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There are several moments in life wherein you enter someone else’s world and think to yourself “What the *&%! is that?” We all think that just because we are friendly with someone that they are similar to us in what they like to eat, where they like to travel and how they decorate. Right? It’s a natural and normal inclination, as we are automatically drawn to people who are similar to ourselves.
Opposites may attract, but they rarely stand the test of time. It is more appropriate to consider that those who complement each other, stay together. On this note, couples find friends who enjoy similar activities and individuals find friends who demonstrate care, concern and kindness in what they say and who they are.
A friendship is a wonderful thing but building these types of bonds can, sometimes, take an extraordinary effort like running errands for them when they are sick or traveling across the country for a visit. When we hold someone as dear to us, we often make selfless gestures and hope that, they, in return, do the same for us.
Given this, why then, is it so hard sometimes to pretend not to notice something strange in their house or car or … ON THEM?
We easily pass judgment on our partner, children or parents; frequently offering helpful suggestions of “It would be easier if you did it this way…” or “Why are you wearing that? It looks terrible!” Yet we instinctively know to draw the line with this judgmental behavior with our friends … even when they ask for our opinion. If a friend asks me if I like her new pants (which are lime green with yellow daisies on them), I will always respond with a “They are wonderful and so YOU” even though I’ve never seen her wear bold color schemes before, but if she is wearing them now, then I think she must like them and I pretend to like them, too. If it was my daughter, I would answer something like “If you like them, that’s all that counts” making my opinion known without hurting her feelings. But what I just described are the easy friend pretends. What happens when we are confronted with a bigger discovery about what our friend likes and, more significantly, what that might say about them?
Perhaps you ask for a glass of water and discover that your friend doesn’t like doing dishes, nor running the dishwasher until it is absolutely full, handing you a flimsy paper cup to use instead. That’s a little quirky but you pretend that it is not, because you don’t want to tell them you think it’s a little weird as that might be insulting to their character. Instead, you make a mental note to bring your own water bottle next time you visit.
Likewise, if friends proudly display an expensive piece of art on their wall that you find “odd,”, such as a framed banana peel (yes that exists), you pretend to like it by saying how “interesting” it is, which isn’t really a lie, but rather just a time of acting. And why not? Because at home, you have an apple peel which would look fabulous with their color scheme…
Fib. Fib.
Kathy Naumann, possessor of NATURALLY curly hair and the understanding that you can’t control everything!
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